Crappy days turned not so much

Well today started as a good day. I worked from home. I went to lunch with Travis and Christie and had Greek food for the first time ever. It was really good. I love both beef and lamb, so it was just a matter of combining them into a warm piece of pita bread. mmmm… Well after lunch is when this good day turned towards the crappy side. I am just glad none of my fans were on so it couldn’t hit ’em. Work is getting more stressful as we reach the end of a release. It got to the point where I was thinking I was a horrible team lead, but then I was able to work with my team, who are great by the way, and get a plan in place.

While all of that was going on, I got several calls from church people saying that the internet was still down. I knew it had gone down earlier in the week, and attributed it to the storms we have been having. I knew that other people in the neighborhood were having issues so I didn’t think anything of it. Well, after hearing today it was still down, I decided I needed to get the ISP involved. So I tried to figure out who our ISP is. Well, I finally got the information and went down to the church. I unplugged a couple things and it worked. So I didn’t need to get the ISP involved at all.

After I got done, I went and met the Reich’s at Frost and had some gelato. I love spending time with that family. Ava is such a cutie and as we were standing in line at Frost, I was holding her. A few cute girls were looking at me and whispering. I think I should take Ava places more often. 🙂 Gavin didnt make an appearance tonight, he was crashed out in his car seat.

So today started, good, went somewhere in a handbasket, then came back. I hope tomorrow turns out to be a short day at work. I think I might go crazy if this happens again.

Leadership…really?

Tonight I attended my first leadership meeting for church. I was very nervous about attending. I have had a very interesting journey so far, and I am confounded when I think of how I got here. A friend once told me that once I am baptized, get ready for a wild ride. So far, the ride has been nothing like I imagined. I sat in the meeting and looked around and noticed I am the youngest one there. Granted, the gap between myself and the next oldest is only 1 year, and one more year between them and the next. I listen to the others speak about their experiences, and their spouses and I can’t help but notice I am the only single person there. Furthermore, I am the only single “leader.” I am thinking, “What the heck!?!?” Am I really cut out for this? Do they realize all of this? I don’t want to let anyone down. Can I really be a leader in the church? I know, it’s only the technical team, but I don’t look at it that way. Angie is not just the office manager person. So how can I just be the technical leader? I am scared as hell. This is completely alien territory here. I have never been a spiritual person before, and now less than a year since starting at Beginnings I am on the leadership team…is this some kind of sick joke?

But I realize, I have to have faith. I know…You are probably saying to yourself, “That’s a novel idea there partner.” (and yes, I know you are doing a Clint Eastwood voice) I have to have faith in the other leaders of the church; that they know what they are doing. I have to see the faith they have in me that I can do this job. Even if I think they are all completely certifiable. Also, I have to have faith in the big man upstairs. He knew the path I am on even before I wanted to acknowledge His existence. He knew I would come to this place. All the time when I was sick, people would tell me that there was a plan for me. It got to the point where I would ask people not to tell me that anymore (just like people telling me that they knew what I was going through). Now I can look back and see that they were right. I am still as clueless as ever as to what that plan is; but I am more content with that realization.

My next step is actually finding my voice in the leadership. I know all of the other leaders, but for some reason I was scared to voice anything during the meeting. I am not sure why. Is it that I still can’t believe I am a leader? Or is it that I don’t feel I have anything positive to contribute? Am I deferring my voice because of my lack of spiritual experience? I don’t know the answer to that. I am open to suggestions.

Mis-Communication

I have fallen prey to one of these this past week. I had a conversation with someone, and what was said in passing, I took more seriously. I didn’t understand everything. I was frustrated more than anything, but now I have come to find out that my frustration was completely unfounded and foolish.

I also realized that I posted something here that was not appropriate. I have removed that post so that no one takes it the wrong way.

I belong

Today I finally feel like I have found where I belong. I have been going to Beginnings for a while now, and ever since I started going I just feel it is the place for me. That fact continues to be shown. Today marked it by something physical. Actually, two simple things. The first thing was my name appeared on the back of the program. I have taken on a leadership position for the digital communications team at church. It deals with all things digital such as the podcast and website. Josh asked me if I wanted the position and it just felt right. The second was getting a key. It is strange how such little things like some text on a piece of paper or a shiny piece of metal can feel like so much. I can’t believe that I have come so far in this journey. A year ago I would never have even guessed I would be involved in church, let alone be a leader and have responsibilities. Wow, how things change.

My weekend rocked!

This weekend so far has rocked. On Friday I went to go see Stardust with Randy and the Hart’s. It was a good movie, but there were a couple unexpected parts that were a little…different. The storyline was pretty inventive and the dialog was entertaining. I really enjoyed the movie and then after we all went to Applebees for happy hour. It was really fun to just sit and hang out. I heard a couple stories, and I shared a couple stories. I just know I am going to watch Christie if she ever goes in my closet. We closed down Applebees, and I had had a couple of drinks. Travis was nice enought to offer to drive me home and then drive me back to my car the next morning. I could have driven home, but I did not want to take the risk so I took him up on the offer. This morning I woke up and gave him a call. They picked me back up and then drove me to my car. On the way, they invited me over for lunch. I again took them up on their most generous offer. Well, by this time it wasn’t really lunch, but it wasn’t really dinner either. It was linner. We BBQed up some tastey ribs and cooked up some AWESOME rice. Then we just kinda vegged and watched a Survivor Man marathon. That guy is just nuts.

Rainy days

Well, I went over to Josh and Katie’s house to see Gavin this evening. Alright, I went over to take them dinner, but I got the pleasure of seeing my man Gavin in the process. I hung out over there and ate some really good pot roast with them. Then Josh and I talked about leadership in the church, and how he hoodwinked me into my current role over a cigar on the porch. After that we went in and watched Hollywoodland. It was an alright movie, only saved by the ever gorgeous Diane Lane. Anywho, after the movie it started lightning right over Josh’s house. I mean light up a dark room like it is noon kind of flashes. Hey, that rhymed! I then left thinking I would beat the rain…boy was I wrong. It started out as a drizzle, then 10 feet later it was a good rain storm, then 5 feet later it was a down pour! My wipers were keeping up, so I trudged along slowly but surely…then it hit. Right as I am going by the entrance to where I work, I see a wall of water coming at me. So I do the smart thing and pull over to the side of the road with my blinkers on. I sit there for a few minutes while praying my car doesn’t get swept away by all the water. Now I do not have to imagine so hard what it’s like to be in a car submerged in water. After it let up, and I could see the hood of my car, I decided to make a break for it. So I got on the highway and went for a couple miles when it started again. So I got off at an exit and parked while another wall of water hit. After that one passed I again set out. Do you see a pattern here? Well, too bad, cause that was the last of it. It sprinkled for a little while longer, but right as I got off the freeway, it stopped all together. As I approached my house, I noticed that there was no water…anywhere on the streets. I love the crazy Tucson weather. So as I sit here safe in my house, I am hoping I lose power so I can sleep in tomorrow!

Relaxing night?

I had an extremely early morning this morning. I usually get up around 7 and roll out of bed around 730 every morning. That leaves me time for a nice rubber ducky (a.k.a. shower). <sidenote> Apparently a shower scene with me in it is disturbing to some people, I won’t say names, but I will link.</sidenote> Any-hoo, I had to get up this morning to shadow a project manager at work. Now, when I say shadow, I mean it quite literally. I was following this guy around all day, listening in on his meetings, spying on people the way project managers do, that sort of thing. Most of the people this PM interacts with on a daily basis, or more specifically every Monday, are on the east coast. He starts his day with a big helping of 6am meetings. Now, I am dedicated and want to be a PM, but there is a limit. So I showed up at 7 this morning to work. I wish I could say bright eyed and bushy tailed, but no coffee makes Spud a dull tuber. Well, suffice it to say it was a rather long day. But it did eventually end.

I then got a call from favorite pastor asking if I could pick up some books from the yet nameless elder I spoke of earlier. I wasn’t doing anything else. Ya, I know…big surprise there. So I said I would. I call up this avoider of rubber duckies and asked if I could swing by. He mentioned coming for dinner and I was so excited to have something besides cold pizza and beer. Though I must admit I am enjoying a frosty beverage of the adult kind right now. mmm….beer…. I went over and experienced dinner over at his house. With a gaggle of kids, it is an adventure. I was almost late to dinner because I was stuck in traffic. But I had an epiphany. I know what causes humans to forget how to drive. It is the color orange. I swear! Orange barrels/cones marking the construction on I-10 just cause people to lose all knowledge of which lane is theirs, or which pedal is the “Go” pedal. Well, when I finally did get there we had a great dinner, and some great conversation. The topic of community did come up, and I have a feeling it will be on my mind for a while. I swear Josh puts subliminal messages somewhere that I keep thinking of his upcoming sermons…it’s a conspiracy. Thank goodness there are no grassy knolls in Tucson!

Church

Yesterday was a fun day. Started out with church. Josh played hookie and didn’t show up. He had some excuse about having a kid over the weekend or something like that. It was probably a good thing he wasn’t there. His absence allowed the elder elder to have a go at him. Apparently, when the elder elder missed a meeting, he was assigned quite a few todo items. Well, now was the day to get Josh back. Several pictures were presented to show off and announce baby Gavin being born. It is amazing how much Gavin looks like Josh. Click here for the pic. It got quite a pleasant reaction at the service. I did notice even a few new people laughing.

Speaking of which, there was a new person I saw yesterday that I have met outside of church. He plays volleyball with some other friends of mine and actually works with one of them coaching volleyball in high school. I did a double take when he came through the door, I thought I was really lost. Normally I see him on Tuesday nights at the JCC where they play.

Anyways, after that we did our normal lunch. Though the group threw me off by going to Jerry Bob’s instead of the usual place, Son’s. It was a fun time as usual. Then I went to bed really early so that I could get up at 530 to be into work by 630. I am shadowing a project manager I know today. Basically, I am following him around and just picking his brain about his job, his experience, etc. It is interesting, but a little boring. He has had a lot of meetings where he is just listening in, instead of actively participating or running. But it is cool because I have been able to talk to him quite a bit and see a different perspective on project management as well as the company. I still want to be a project manager, and I am still pursuing that with a passion.

Amazing

All I can say, is God is amazing. To create life in something…to see little baby Reich, so helpless, so innocent. Makes me feel all funny inside. Even though I had absolutely nothing to do with the kid…I am rendered speechless. Life itself is a miracle, why can’t people stop and see that?

Tattoo

Ok, so I changed my mind about the tattoo. I think I am going to go with something like the one here. I am thinking that I eventually want the kanji for life in the middle of the wings, like the phoenix is embracing life. Then the last modification to the tattoo would be adding the kanji for death where the campfire is in the picture. All in all it will symbolize me bursting forth from death and truly embracing life.

Check out my poll and vote for where I should get it. If you have any other suggestions, comment here since the poll thing won’t let you enter your own choices!