Sweet spot

I have to start this post off with an admission. I didn’t want to go to church today. I am not sure why, but all day I was thinking how nice it would be not to have to go, and I had to stop myself from thinking of ways so that I wouldn’t have to go. But in the end, I went. It was an interesting sermon having to do with personal “sweet spots” in church and profession, life in general. As Josh was sermoning (I am aware this is not a word so just deal) I thought to myself what my sweet spot was. The answer I came up with is really not what I expected. I feel that I have fallen into the trap of doing things because there is no one else to do them, even if I am not the greatest at them. I see a need, a desire for something to happen, and I want to see that fulfilled. What would happen if I just kept to my sweet spot? Would people be disappointed?

Is it still Sunday?

This weekend was the first weekend that we at Beginnings had church on Saturday evening instead of the typical Sunday morning. It kinda threw me off yesterday driving into town because I wanted to stop to get coffee, but I had just eaten lunch. Then when I got there and the service started, I noticed that it got REALLY dark once the lights were turned off. Then when the service let out, it was pitch black outside and instead of going to brunch, some friends and I went to dinner instead. So this morning I didn’t set my alarm and had a moment of panic as I woke up and realized what time it was. I thought for a split second that it was my new alarm clock messing up, or rather me setting it incorrectly. Anyways, this morning-ish I drove Josh and Katie to the airport. They are going back east so Josh can attend his class for his something-or-other degree. 🙂 Katie and I were talking in the car as Josh was picking out an Elmo DVD he wanted to watch and she mentioned that she thought I was taking off work to take them to the airport. Then she realized too that it was still Sunday. Oh well, I guess that’s what you get the first time something big changes in your schedule…a moment of panic followed by a feeling of “what do I do now.”

A day of growth and X-mas

Today I grew a little more in my capabilities at church. Josh is out of town on vacation and he asked me to make sure things went alright at church in his absence. I was a little nervous at first, but it ended up not being a big deal at all. I was able to get the sequence down, get everyone signed off on doing extra things, get everyone circled up before, etc. The service went really well and I was really excited to hear my friend Eric speak. Not that I am bored with Josh and his sermons, but it is nice to hear a new perspective and a new style every once in a while.

My Christmas was very good. I got almost everything I wanted. From Josh and Katie I got a really cool piece of art. It is my tattoo (without the date) done in steel. It looks really freakin awesome! I will try to remember to take a picture and post it. I think I know the exact place I am going to put it. It was really cool that they thought of something like that for me. It is definitely a unique gift. It also fits because Josh’s present from me was part of his tattoo, and I got Katie the fire pit that we have been enjoying for a couple months. I know, it seems odd to get someone a Christmas present in October, but it was totally worth it! I got from my parents a gift certificate for a bike. I have been needing to exercise regularly for a while now, and Josh and I have been talking and I decided that I am going to start biking with him. I’m really excited about the prospect of me actually doing something outdoors. From my sister I got a digital picture frame. I put all sorts of pictures in there already. The only thing I didn’t get (to do) was see my brother and my best friend Juan. My brother couldn’t get off work to come down and Juan had his own family things to do and this is the busiest time of year for him at work. It is understandable, but it still bummed me out that I couldn’t hang out with them. I had half a mind to go up to Farmington to see my brother, but there was no guarantee that he would be able to even go have a coffee.

Rob Bell Tonight

I went to see Rob Bell tonight.  It was a very interesting talk.  I really enjoyed myself even despite the fact that everyone else wanted In & Out and forgot that I don’t really like their burgers.  I was disappointed that no one in the group wanted to discuss it at all on the drive back.  I was really looking forward to some discussion as I had some questions and I was interested to see other opinions and thoughts, but there wasn’t any.  So it was a rather boring 2 hour drive back to Tucson with nothing to do or say.

Going to see Rob Bell tomorrow

Like I said, I am going to see Rob Bell tomorrow night with a group from church.  I have never been to anything like this, so I have no idea what to expect.  I have downloaded some stuff from iTunes so I will at least know what he sounds like.  I am really excited for this mini road trip.  First it will be an opportunity to get out of Tucson.  Not that I don’t love it here, but it does get a little boring after a while.  Also, I am going to be going with a lot of people from church.  I haven’t really had a chance to hang out with a lot of people from church, so it is quite an opportunity to hang out and chit chat with them.  Another reason I am excited is I am hearing a noted Christian speaker for the first time.  I am really hoping this is the first of many speakers I hear.  I’ll let you all know how it went.

Weekend of firsts

This weekend I had a lot of firsts. It started Saturday morning. I was at the church helping clean up the classrooms and getting ready for the new logos etc. I was in the office talking to Katie and Ava was there playing. All of a sudden, she looks up at me and said, “Uncle Scott!” I was like, holy crap! She just called me Uncle Scott! It definitely perked me up for the whole day. I was a little tired before because I had been up watching movies until 1:30 that morning. Then waking up to start manual labor was not pleasant.

Then this morning was a couple of firsts at church. It was the first time we did 2 services. It went really well, as you can see here. Also, I took communion. I know, you may not think that is a big deal. But for me it is. I have been on a really long journey back to God, and I finally felt that it wouldn’t be blasphemous of me to partake. I know it wouldn’t have been earlier…I just wanted to fit the word “blasphemous” into this post.

Leadership…really?

Tonight I attended my first leadership meeting for church. I was very nervous about attending. I have had a very interesting journey so far, and I am confounded when I think of how I got here. A friend once told me that once I am baptized, get ready for a wild ride. So far, the ride has been nothing like I imagined. I sat in the meeting and looked around and noticed I am the youngest one there. Granted, the gap between myself and the next oldest is only 1 year, and one more year between them and the next. I listen to the others speak about their experiences, and their spouses and I can’t help but notice I am the only single person there. Furthermore, I am the only single “leader.” I am thinking, “What the heck!?!?” Am I really cut out for this? Do they realize all of this? I don’t want to let anyone down. Can I really be a leader in the church? I know, it’s only the technical team, but I don’t look at it that way. Angie is not just the office manager person. So how can I just be the technical leader? I am scared as hell. This is completely alien territory here. I have never been a spiritual person before, and now less than a year since starting at Beginnings I am on the leadership team…is this some kind of sick joke?

But I realize, I have to have faith. I know…You are probably saying to yourself, “That’s a novel idea there partner.” (and yes, I know you are doing a Clint Eastwood voice) I have to have faith in the other leaders of the church; that they know what they are doing. I have to see the faith they have in me that I can do this job. Even if I think they are all completely certifiable. Also, I have to have faith in the big man upstairs. He knew the path I am on even before I wanted to acknowledge His existence. He knew I would come to this place. All the time when I was sick, people would tell me that there was a plan for me. It got to the point where I would ask people not to tell me that anymore (just like people telling me that they knew what I was going through). Now I can look back and see that they were right. I am still as clueless as ever as to what that plan is; but I am more content with that realization.

My next step is actually finding my voice in the leadership. I know all of the other leaders, but for some reason I was scared to voice anything during the meeting. I am not sure why. Is it that I still can’t believe I am a leader? Or is it that I don’t feel I have anything positive to contribute? Am I deferring my voice because of my lack of spiritual experience? I don’t know the answer to that. I am open to suggestions.

I belong

Today I finally feel like I have found where I belong. I have been going to Beginnings for a while now, and ever since I started going I just feel it is the place for me. That fact continues to be shown. Today marked it by something physical. Actually, two simple things. The first thing was my name appeared on the back of the program. I have taken on a leadership position for the digital communications team at church. It deals with all things digital such as the podcast and website. Josh asked me if I wanted the position and it just felt right. The second was getting a key. It is strange how such little things like some text on a piece of paper or a shiny piece of metal can feel like so much. I can’t believe that I have come so far in this journey. A year ago I would never have even guessed I would be involved in church, let alone be a leader and have responsibilities. Wow, how things change.

Church

Yesterday was a fun day. Started out with church. Josh played hookie and didn’t show up. He had some excuse about having a kid over the weekend or something like that. It was probably a good thing he wasn’t there. His absence allowed the elder elder to have a go at him. Apparently, when the elder elder missed a meeting, he was assigned quite a few todo items. Well, now was the day to get Josh back. Several pictures were presented to show off and announce baby Gavin being born. It is amazing how much Gavin looks like Josh. Click here for the pic. It got quite a pleasant reaction at the service. I did notice even a few new people laughing.

Speaking of which, there was a new person I saw yesterday that I have met outside of church. He plays volleyball with some other friends of mine and actually works with one of them coaching volleyball in high school. I did a double take when he came through the door, I thought I was really lost. Normally I see him on Tuesday nights at the JCC where they play.

Anyways, after that we did our normal lunch. Though the group threw me off by going to Jerry Bob’s instead of the usual place, Son’s. It was a fun time as usual. Then I went to bed really early so that I could get up at 530 to be into work by 630. I am shadowing a project manager I know today. Basically, I am following him around and just picking his brain about his job, his experience, etc. It is interesting, but a little boring. He has had a lot of meetings where he is just listening in, instead of actively participating or running. But it is cool because I have been able to talk to him quite a bit and see a different perspective on project management as well as the company. I still want to be a project manager, and I am still pursuing that with a passion.

I did it

Well I did it folks. Yesterday I was baptized. The annual church BBQ and 4th of July party was yesterday. There was food, fun, good conversation, and of course I was baptized. My friend Randy helped Josh do it. I can’t really explain it, but I was told by some people that I am less guarded than before. I am not sure if that was the baptism, or the alcohol. 😀