A day of growth and X-mas

Today I grew a little more in my capabilities at church. Josh is out of town on vacation and he asked me to make sure things went alright at church in his absence. I was a little nervous at first, but it ended up not being a big deal at all. I was able to get the sequence down, get everyone signed off on doing extra things, get everyone circled up before, etc. The service went really well and I was really excited to hear my friend Eric speak. Not that I am bored with Josh and his sermons, but it is nice to hear a new perspective and a new style every once in a while.

My Christmas was very good. I got almost everything I wanted. From Josh and Katie I got a really cool piece of art. It is my tattoo (without the date) done in steel. It looks really freakin awesome! I will try to remember to take a picture and post it. I think I know the exact place I am going to put it. It was really cool that they thought of something like that for me. It is definitely a unique gift. It also fits because Josh’s present from me was part of his tattoo, and I got Katie the fire pit that we have been enjoying for a couple months. I know, it seems odd to get someone a Christmas present in October, but it was totally worth it! I got from my parents a gift certificate for a bike. I have been needing to exercise regularly for a while now, and Josh and I have been talking and I decided that I am going to start biking with him. I’m really excited about the prospect of me actually doing something outdoors. From my sister I got a digital picture frame. I put all sorts of pictures in there already. The only thing I didn’t get (to do) was see my brother and my best friend Juan. My brother couldn’t get off work to come down and Juan had his own family things to do and this is the busiest time of year for him at work. It is understandable, but it still bummed me out that I couldn’t hang out with them. I had half a mind to go up to Farmington to see my brother, but there was no guarantee that he would be able to even go have a coffee.

Thanksgiving

Well as you all know yesterday was Thanksgiving. I had an awesome day yesterday. I stayed in town this year and spent the day at Josh’s house helping them out and just hanging out. You might be asking, “Why didn’t he go home for the holiday?” Well my answer is really complicated. I had not planned on going home before my dad got sick, and since he is doing really well my family didn’t see any reason to change my plans. Of course that is not saying they didn’t want me, but they understood that I stayed here like planned. I am going back for Christmas, and spending over a week there.

Anyways, there were about 8 people total for dinner, which consisted of a butt load of food. We had turkey, ham, prosciutto wrapped asparagus, sweet potatoes, baked corn, cranberries, mashed potatoes, stuffing, pumpkin pie, chocolate eclair cake, and of course wine. I ate myself stupid. It was also a good night as there was a lot of good conversation and I was able to connect with a couple people I don’t normally connect with. All in all it was an awesome Thanksgiving.

Vacation!

Today started my vacation! I am off for the next week! I really needed this vacation. With the stuff that is happening with my dad, church stuff, and just general tiredness, I really am looking forward to doing nothing for a while.

You might be asking yourself, “Well what plan’s does he have for all this time off?” Well let me tell you…NOTHING! That’s right. The only things I know for sure I am doing is church, playing with Gavin and Ava, eating way too much on Thanksgiving, and spending too much money the day after Thanksgiving shopping. Don’t get me wrong, I will probably be doing other things, like playing a little WoW, getting new tires, washing my car, a whole plethora of ideas abound.

Why?

I had breakfast with Petra this morning. It was really good to catch up with her. It is amazing what a variety of people I have come to know. I would have never met anyone like her before I was sick. I have known her for a few years, and it is great to see her now. She is happily married and has “inherited” 2 children. From the stories she tells, motherhood agrees with her.

I just got back from a wedding. I knew the groom only as an acquaintance, but my parents know his parents very well. I knew the groom’s brother, he was also a cancer patient. Unfortunately, he did not make it. I was reminded that it was on July 4th, the same day I was baptized, that James was finally made independent of cancer. I don’t know, maybe that was part of why that day seemed so right to me. The wedding brought back some feelings that I thought I had moved past. Why does God put families, good people, through so much pain and suffering? Why does He take the good ones away from the world? Not only James, but Moira too. Petra and I remembered Moira this morning. She was such an awesome woman. She did so much to help people; not only cancer patients, but everyone. I loved her so much it hurts every time I think about it. It is so frustrating to see what He has done, but not to know the why of it. I feel myself doubting Him and this plan I am a part of but cannot see. It scares me, makes me angry that I cannot grasp it, frustrates me, and makes me sad at the same time.

Why do I open my heart and start loving people only to have them get sick and die? I realize that that does not happen to everyone I know. If it did I would have secluded myself in a mountain retreat already. Why? Why? Why?

The mother load

Today I played in the tourney. It was a lot of fun. I played on a team with my dad, my best friend, and his father-in-law. We also had a junior assigned to us. The only bad thing was there were 400 players for 2 flights. That meant that there were 3 teams starting on the same tee. The pace that was set for that course is 4:15 for 18 holes. We walked off the course at 6 hours. It was a very long morning, but it was a lot of fun to play, especially when I thought of why we were playing. At the course we heard the grand total of funds raised
for today’s and yesterday’s events. It was an amazing amount of $350,000!

I try to have fun with whoever I play with golfing…as long as they are there to have fun and it doesn’t become too competitive or serious. And yes…JOSH…playing with you, Travis and Chris was one of the funnest times I have had on the course.

Tomorrow I am going to breakfast with my friend Petra. She is the one who got me started rock climbing. I am excited to get caught up with her. It has been a very long time since we talked. She just recently got married and she and her new husband built a house. I am really curious to see what her house looks like.

I’m going to take another nap.

Makes you think

I just got back from attending the 5th annual Erin Trujeque Memorial Gala. It is part of a Erin Trujeque weekend that started this morning with a Pro-Am. Tonight there was a silent auction, a diamond ring raffle, a live auction, food, conversation, stories, tears…it ran the entire spectrum of “stuff”. I was able to share this event with my family, my friends that I have known because of my relationship with cancer, and my best friend. I don’t know why, but I feel really blessed that I have met the kinds of people I have. I don’t imagine that I would have moved to Tucson and started working with my best friend. To be able to introduce him to this part of my life is really amazing.

I was talking to people I have known for years, and I am amazed every time I told people, “I am 15 years out from diagnosis.” In that world, that is a miracle. One of my friends that I met through Camp Enchantment is recently married. She thought I was trying to kid around with her when I told her how long we have known each other. Most people try to forget their birthdays. “It’s just another day.” or “It’s just one more year.” To me, and a lot of other kids out there it is the opposite. It isn’t “just” another day…but it is one more year that they have been blessed with life. They were able to defeat something horrific, and they are here to spread the word; they are here to show others that it can be done.

I was especially touched by a family that spoke this evening. They have infant twins, and both of them were diagnosed with cancer. I cannot even fathom what they are going through right now. But they are brave enough, and the cause is just enough, that they stood up in front of about 500 people and told their story.

It’s funny. As I sit here typing this out I am thinking about Josh’s sermon last Sunday. He talked about Elijah and how he just went where he did, not seeking glory, or because he knew what would happen, but because he had faith. He was just another ordinary guy that did extraordinary things. It might be a stretch, but it makes sense in my minds. These kids, these fighters, are like Elijah. They don’t know any better than to try to keep living; to fight this illness. They don’t think that they are anything but ordinary kids that are sick. But when they survive, their stories inspire others to fight instead of giving in.